Spring.

In case some of you out there read this blog in places where it would be impossible, or at least socially unacceptable, to listen to the podfist, I'll post the transcript below. Just know, however, that you really ought to find some way of listening to the podfist, because it's a lot better to hear than to read. Trust me.

Transcript:

Here’s something else that makes me mad: SPRING. Everything about it drives me up the freaking wall. Birds chirping, bees buzzing, flowers blooming, and everything’s just so WARM. You walk outside and people are walking around, smiling, dancing and holding hands and saying, “Aren’t you just so glad that it’s SPRING?!?!?” NO I AM NOT JUST SO GLAD THAT IT’S SPRING. I like it cold, I like it gray, and I like it when people like you are shivering and MISERABLE. I don’t want to see your happy shining face. I don’t want to hear you telling me how glad you are to be alive and what a wonderful world it is. I don’t want to see your butterflies and robins and furry little rodents all over my lawn. GO AWAY AND TAKE YOUR WRETCHED SEASON WITH YOU BEFORE I VOMIT ALL OVER YOUR HIDEOUS FACE.

(direct link to podfist)